There has been a long silence from me following the initial article: "The Dark Side of Hudson High School." On a personal note, I was tied up with the task of finishing my summer semester and was then hit with a few family emergencies.
But those excuses aside, I can admit that I was shocked by the response from the article. According to my website analytics page, it was viewed over 10,000 times. My inbox was flooded with messages and I wanted to take the time to respond to as many as possible. So many brave individuals have come forward and shared challenges, opinions, ideas, heartache, and more. While I'm saddened that there is an overarching theme of people relating to the testimonials shared in the article, it is equally empowering to watch everyone come together as a community and support one another. I've talked to teachers and fellow graduates that I haven't heard from in years! The connections developing in the aftermath is beautiful.
The article gained so much traction that Superintendent Phil Herman made a statement on the Hudson School District Website:
I am grateful for his eloquent response and delighted to see that there is the hiring of a Diversity and Inclusion Coordinator for the District. It seems that the intentions are positive and that voices are being heard. However, a few months have passed and the topic has seemed to move to the back burner again, at least publicly. What has been discussed in the school board meetings? What changes are further going to be implemented? Where can these difficult conversations continue?
Throughout the emails and discussions being had, one particular woman stood out to me: her email highlighted a slightly different route to this topic.
"While I agree that many of the students are horrible, and the faculty and staff do nothing to correct anything, can we please acknowledge that the root of the problem is the people raising these kids? These behaviors are learned. Kids aren’t born racists or bullies, they are taught that at home. Their parents teach them their privilege and do nothing to correct it when they act on it. Case in point, the girl (and her racist friends) this year. The first incident got her expelled, yet 8 months later, she was at it again, spray painting the stadium. Apparently her parents did nothing to drive home the point that what she did the first time was wrong. Instead, they teach her to play the victim. So as much as I will join in efforts to fix the school, I also want it recognized where the problem starts, and discuss ways to educate the parents and adult community on their role in this."
We've read the stories on how Hudson High School has wrongfully handled issues in the past and present, but this parent highlights an important discussion: While it is the job of the schools to create a safe and inclusive learning environment, where do some of the problems stem from? Home.
I'm grateful that Phil Herman put out a public statement, and I'm eagerly anticipating the training and changes that he highlighted. But this parent's email brought the reminder that schools will hit a wall eventually; they can create consequences through the school and staff, but they cannot change the household dynamics of the students.
Many parents have talked with me about how their children were victims of bullying, sexual harassment, and more. A chilling realization was made apparent that the school mishandled the situations due to the parents of the bully; the parents fought back incredibly hard to protect the reputation of their children and family. The victims' parents often stopped pursuing justice due to fear of being socially exiled, making the problem worse, or knowing that the other parent has established "status" and "power." While the school has certain responsibilities, it's also up to the parent to implement consequences when their child does/says something that harms others. Unfortunately this does not always happen.
With the current state of the world, we are watching and learning as POC and minorities are finally given a platform to use their voices. But as time goes on, we are also seeing systematic racism and sexism being exposed. We are learning how deep-rooted the toxic beliefs are, and I wholeheartedly believe that we are obligated to break the chain of ignorance and hate that reaches endlessly through history. It seems like a daunting task, but it can start within our communities; opening discussions with fellow parents, coworkers, and classmates. Speaking up when you see/hear cruelty, racist acts, and discriminatory words. Ask for support. Teach our children and siblings how to be loving, accepting, compassionate individuals. These are a few examples of why I resonated with this parent's message about parenting. We need to do better on a smaller scale so the ripple effects will be massive.
Here's an example of the problem: Another parent brought to my attention that some parents in Hudson did not like the original article. There was one particular comment on Facebook that this parent discussed with me, and she wanted to respond with this:
Hello Cassie,
I am a parent of 2 current HHS students and I want to tell you how proud I am of you for writing your blog. Thank you for not remaining silent about your experiences and for creating a space for your fellow classmates to share their experiences as well. A friend shared your blog with me after I read the email from Phil Herman that was sent today. I just finished reading it and the comments posted by a few former students and one parent. I am writing in response to Brandy H. I would have responded on your blog but I deleted my Facebook account in 2016 and replying would have required an account. I was so irritated by her comment that I couldn’t just walk away and hope other parents would post a reply, so here I am.
First, I am grateful that her kids were not traumatized, abused, discriminated, bullied personally. However, her response to your blog IMHO served only to discredit the experiences that you and your fellow classmates so bravely described. Not every single student at HHS has to be victimized for their to be a valid and real culture of abuse. Not every student is victimized, not every student is a perpetrator of abuse, not every teacher victimizes students, not every teacher turns a blind eye to abuse. Generalities serve no ones best interests. Discrediting the experiences of others allows abuse to continue and it shames the person who was victimized. Enough is enough. Second, the notion that “typical adolescent stuff” should be excused is bothersome to me. Terms like “boys will be boys” or “girls can be so mean” are just used as deflection or invalidation of abusive behavior. We have an ‘abuse of power’ problem in our society. It is prevalent and pervasive. The more we debate that it exists, the more we empower those that will abuse. You are either part of the solution or part of the problem. If you don’t think there is a problem, then you are not paying attention.
You may feel free to share my reply in whole or part. I hope any parent that reads your blog, and reads the comments will also reply and challenge this archaic way of thinking.
Best Regards,
L.
From context we can assume the other parent, Brandy, was expressing that her children/family had a safe experience in the Hudson School District; they never experienced bullying, sexism, racism, etc. So she seems to think that the article is blown out of proportion (although I am not here to put words in her mouth).
I think L eloquently expressed why this kind of thinking is a root problem: "It didn't happen to me, so it doesn't happen." How often do you hear arguments similar to this? It is happening all around us, right in front of our faces. Why disregard the trauma that people have gone through? Even if we aren't always affected by the problem, we MUST be apart of the solution.
The point of this, as I said in the first article, was to share the voices and stories that went unheard. I don't want to add a lot of my own opinions; we've all been learning that it's important to encourage the minority groups and those that are oppressed. We are meant to lift up their stories, offer support, and CALL OUT those that cause hurt. Call out the bullies, the schools, the parents, the uneducated, the rapists, the racists, the people that turn a blind eye, the system that needs to be changed. We need to protect the people that feel as if they cannot speak up because they are afraid of those that hold power.
Keep scrolling and read the stories that were sent in the aftermath of the first article. Please spend some time really digesting what is being said, and the bravery it takes for these people to speak their truth. When you're done, there are helpful links to check out for Ohio schools, mental health, and BLM.
SUBMITTED INCIDENTS
I actually wanted to share a few of my family’s experiences with Hudson school. We lived in Hudson for a year during middle school (we only stayed there for a year because of how bad the bullying got). My brother’s locker neighbor wouldn’t stop kicking him and calling him a f*g and after he went to the school nurse with injuries he told the guidance counselor who then moved his locker buddy one locker over and refused to do anything else. The school district is extremely racist countless times I’ve heard a white student use the n word in front of a teacher and never be stopped, black kids bullied literally for being black in front of teachers and they wouldn’t intervene. I remember this girl literally said, “don’t worry ****** doesn’t care what you say to her because she’s black.” For myself, I was also bullied and followed by this girl and her mom, and after we told the guidance counselor what was happening they did nothing. They wouldn’t even switch my learning community so we wouldn’t have class together. I also come from an immigrant family and I believe a lot of the reason our issues were never taken seriously is because they didn’t take my MENA immigrant father seriously. I legitimately hated that school district and after we moved I realized how toxic and horrible it was. Girls bullied each other so severely I really think everyone had an eating disorder, racial slurs were yelled in front of teachers from elementary school and never ever stopped, and the guidance counselors constantly heard these complaints and gave BS excuses.
-Anonymous, former student
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*Follow-up from an email exchange*
When my kids started high school I was told by everyone that I could not request a class to be changed. “No, you can’t”, “They never do it”, “They’ll see you as a problem parent”, and “It can’t be done, you just have to live with it” are some of the things I was told. I’m not judging these other moms, but it was obvious they’d never encountered a mom who advocates for her children.
And believe me, the moment I heard my daughter had (teacher kept anonymous) for chem, I was on that phone telling them to move her to (teacher kept anonymous). And they did, immediately. She was in (new teacher's) class from day one.
My daughter has been bullied and ridiculed incessantly by classmates because we live in “the ghetto” of Hudson. We don’t have the money to buy her a new car (she worked for and bought her own 2000 Camry) or to buy her the clothing with the right labels. We couldn’t afford AirPods and bought a cheaper brand of wireless headphones one Christmas. And when she had them on walking into class, some kid said, “Smells broke in here”. Nice, huh? My kids are smart enough to not tell me names, because they know I’d be at those kids’ houses in a minute. LOL
Anyway, I’m happy to help you and thank you for bringing this to the forefront. The response proves that it very much needed.
-Anonymous, parent
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My freshman year of high school i began talking to a guy who was a senior, and he told me not to tell anyone because he didn’t want people to know. He said one night he was freaking out and needed to talk to someone, so I innocently Invited him over and said I could help him. Let him come into my house, and he forcefully sexually assaulted me giving me no choice and even having his hand on my throat at some points. After that, he made my life living hell. People found out we “hooked up”, and I was slut shamed by half of my friends and the other half of my friends told me I should be proud because he was hot. I had nowhere to go to because what 14 year old can talk to an adult about sexual experiences without being shamed? This build up of anxiety eventually led to an eating disorder. I finally spoke out to one if the teachers I kept in touch with the fall of my sophomore year of college, 5 years after the incident. I wish that nobody else would go through the years of torture that I went through and that Hudson could create a safer environment for all students. Thank you for starting this movement, let me know if there’s anything I can do to help you.
Anonymous, Class of 2018
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LINKS
Petition links for schools
-Link to resources for what to do in the case of bullying at school:
-Here is the link to contact information of the Hudson Board of Education:
-Can also reach out to the Ohio Department of Education (I have specifically linked the contact page):
-Here is the link for the U.S. Department of Education, Office for Civil Rights. This is in the case of a school not properly responding to a case of harassment (which is also linked through the above website):
-Link to Ohio Anti-Bullying Laws and Policies:
Mental Health Links/Information
-Mental Health America of Ohio (helpful, organized list of various mental health services spanning across multiple specifications):
-Ohio Department of Mental Health and Addiction Services:
-NAMI Ohio (National Alliance on Mental Illness):
BLM
-Link of petitions to sign:
-Direct link to BLM website; stay up to date!:
*picture credit:
Logo from the Hudson Facebook Page
Screenshots of message from Hudson City Schools District Page