I don't talk about this much anymore because it is a sensitive topic for most people. And now I've been in the "maintenance" phase for almost two years, so weight loss is no longer a goal for me. And I know there are a lot of people out there (myself included) that are suffering and/or recovering from an unhealthy relationship with food; some of us have also struggled through an entire lifetime of hating our bodies. So I didn't necessarily want to talk about weight loss anymore, especially in light of the self love movement that has been going on. And I love the topic of self love. I get a rush of excitement any time I see somebody post something positive about themselves, or say something confident, or try something new that's out of their comfort zone, or take care of their body/mind.
However, I have formed new opinions over the last three years. And I'm going to state them bluntly before getting into the actual topic of this post:
"Self love" is going to look very different on everyone. For example, somebody that has suffered through anorexia might now practice self love by trying to gain weight, by going to therapy, and by working on dropping society's teachings that "being skinny is better." He/she might be working on a healthier relationship with food by not restricting. He/she might be learning to love his/her body at every stage of life.
On the flip side, another individual went to the doctor and was told that he/she is at risk for type 2 diabetes. So he/she is fed up and wants to take control. He/she practices self love by eating better and taking daily walks.
Another individual might look like he/she is comfortable in their body but he/she is mentally struggling; every morning is dedicated to stepping on the scale, picking apart insecurities, etc. So the method of self love here is to throw away the scale, practice positive internal dialogue, and make time for enjoyable activities.
Then there is the category of people that are simply fed up; they've tried every diet out there, they've counted calories, they've fluctuated. They now just want to accept their body as it is without the pressure to look a certain way.
Here's my point: being body positive does not mean we can't make changes. We can want to lose or gain weight but still love ourselves from the inside out at every stage. It still means that every body is beautiful, no matter size, color, or shape. And losing weight does NOT mean you're healthy anyways. There are more effective and sustainable goals to set that will bring you to a healthier way of living...and none of them involve weight loss. I believe it really comes down to mindset; are you losing weight because you hate yourself and think you'll feel beautiful if you drop some pounds? Are you going to try every drastic method to make that happen quickly? OR are you going to focus on simply shifting into long-term healthier habits because you know it will make you feel better from the inside out?
OKAY, that's out of the way! Now, moving forward, I can actually answer your questions without feeling as if I'm shaming people. Because trust me, I've been walking on egg shells with this topic for so long. And don't worry, I'm not necessarily going to start talking about how to lose weight. I really want to be helpful, though, and provide tools and tricks that are fueled by science. I want to help people reach health goals, no matter what that goal is. But the important factor is the "why." Your reason for your goals has to be coming from a loving, nurturing place.
Let's get into it, shall we?
So growing up, I was extremely lean. I come from an active family with a lot of siblings (I have three younger brothers and one little sister). I was so fortunate in the fact that my dad was very passionate about all of us trying different physical activities; he wanted us to find something we love. For me that ended up being horseback riding, softball, track, and drama club/choir (drama club is physically taxing...you can't convince me otherwise). Camping was a common outing for us. Playing outside was part of our daily routine.
In my third year of high school, my body started to change along with my hormones. I was still eating poorly (as I did throughout all of high school) but it all started to catch up with me: processed food, excessive drinking, poor sleep, neglected manic or depressive episodes, etc. Suddenly I was putting on weight rapidly, but that wasn't the only issue that would follow me over the next few years; my skin was worse than ever, I was constantly going through crashes and battling exhaustion, my motivation for basic tasks was shot, I had constant pain in my joints, my thought processes were foggy, and I was ALWAYS craving more food...even if I was uncomfortably full.
When I finally became fed up and wanted too make a change in 2017, I dropped weight rather quickly by just switching up the types of food that I was eating. After so many years of over-eating processed crap, my body was enthusiastic. However, that doesn't mean my health journey has been one smooth process so far. I've had to learn, fail, experiment, be patient, and keep trying.
I don't want to ramble anymore, so it's time to jump into the topic: Things I wish I knew before starting my "weight loss" journey. Some of these are common among others that have gone through this, and some of them are personal. Everyone is different. But like I always promise, I will be authentic and honest with you.
WHAT I WISH I KNEW BEFORE WEIGHT LOSS.
1. WEIGHT LOSS IS NOT THE SAME THING AS FAT LOSS. This is the most important thing I've learned, hence the capital letters. Read it a few times. Read it again. Trust me, I've got an entire post coming soon on this topic. We'll be diving into the science, facts, and misconceptions. But for now, just know that losing weight on the scale is very different from shedding body fat.
2. You will see a lot of progress in the beginning, which is extremely motivating. I've said before that my body responded fairly quickly to changing my food choices, and a huge factor in that is simply because I went from eating all processed crap 24/7 to eating extremely clean. If you're currently eating fast food 2-3 times a day and suddenly decide to start transitioning into clean eating, you will most likely see progress early on. Then your progress might slow down or stall, and THIS is the time where a lot of people give up. I understand that, and it's incredibly frustrating. Again, I have more coming on this, but just know that what works for you in the beginning might not be what permanently works for you.
3. The actual weight loss part will come down to food intake; you can lose weight without doing a single workout. It is about being in a caloric deficit. Fat loss is a different story, but if your aim is to just lose weight, then you just need to eat less than what you burn in a day.
4. Being in a caloric deficit doesn't mean immediately jumping to an extremely low amount of calories. This is one of the most damaging things you can do to your body. If you do this, you will drop a few pounds. However, your body is going to adjust and utilize whatever small amount of food that you're giving it; our bodies are smart and they will use the lowered calories very carefully (to put it in simple terms). Your metabolism will adjust to surviving off of the sudden drop in energy intake because our bodies work so hard to keep us alive and functioning. So when your metabolism slows down to burn through the limited calories more slowly, it will be adapted to that slow process when you decide to jump back up to higher calories. So now your body is not as efficient at burning that much energy, making it easier to gain back the weight on fewer calories. When going into calorie deficit, drop the calories by a manageable amount and try that for at least 2 weeks.
5. Shifting to maintenance is hard, if not harder than losing the weight. I'm going to be 100% honest: I struggled with this. It's weird to integrate everything into a permanent lifestyle that involves maintaining the weight rather than losing more. You'll have to experiment AGAIN with figuring out your food intake. When I was adjusting to this, I underestimated how much I needed to eat in correspondence with how intensely I was working out. It was so discouraging to hear people saying I looked "scrawny" as I was attempting to find my new balance. Eventually I did; however, remember this is where results are not a tangible thing that you can see with the scale anymore, so it's up to you to stay committed for the sake of health. And this leads me into my next point...
6. Take pictures. Take pictures. Take pictures. I cannot stress this enough! It will feel uncomfortable, but do it anyway, even if you keep them private. When you're maintaining, you can still compare your progress with pictures rather than the scale. You'll see the changes in your body as you work out or eat differently over time, and that's a much more efficient way to see progress. The scale will not show you the muscle you're building, the inches lost in certain areas, or the way your skin looks more healthy for eating better.
7. Your weight fluctuates EVERY DAY, multiple times a day. You did not gain two pounds of fat overnight. Maybe you're two pounds heavier today because you haven't pooped, or you had a lot of sodium yesterday, or your period is coming, or you're stressed and holding onto water weight. If you're going to weigh yourself, it's not in your best interest to do it every day. Try weekly averages!
8. Not everyone wants to hear about your new lifestyle, and that's okay. Do not take it personally. Take others' feelings into consideration. We all have insecurities and triggers.
9. Every single body is different, which means there is not one way of eating that works for everyone. Unfortunately, you'll have to figure this out through trial and error. Now, you may be thinking: "Cassie, I thought you said weight loss comes down to calories in vs. calories out." And while it does, please understand that not everyone is going to FEEL good eating the same style food. In order to slowly and safely decrease your calories, or increase them to fuel more intense workouts (for toning/muscle building), you need to personally find a sustainable way of eating that makes you feel satisfied. You need to figure out what upsets your digestion, what irritates your skin, or what makes you bloated. The only way to commit to eating better is to find what works for YOU.
10. Sustainable weight loss is a slow process. Please don't fall for all of the "lose weight fast" schemes. This is a lifelong journey and I know it's hard to not be impatient, but trust the process. If you're consistent and disciplined, it will happen.
11. Weight loss will not bring you happiness. At me heaviest weight and at my lowest weight, I had insecurities. You need to do the internal mental work at all stages of life in order to accept your body for exactly what it is, because you are beautiful and worthy at every size. Mentality is the most important factor here.
12. This has to be for you and nobody else. You have to want it so badly that you will hold onto this and stick with it for YOU and your personal health. Ignore the opinions, ignore the doubts, and remember that motivation will come and go. But you don't need motivation when you instill new habits and stick with them out of respect for your mind and body.
13. You will mess up at some point and that's okay. In the past, whenever I screwed up, I gave up entirely and binged. But please don't beat yourself up if/when this happens. Just move on. You've probably heard this before: just like one healthy meal won't change everything, one unhealthy meal won't change everything either. One meal doesn't derail all your progress. And missing one workout doesn't take away all of your progress either.
I really hope this spoke to you in some way if you're wanting to make a change but you're afraid; that's how I felt. I was afraid of failure and afraid of judgement. But I learned that my biggest obstacle and my biggest bully was me. I had to mentally get out of my own way, and practice positive self-talk every single day. I still do.
The life you want is possible. Shifting into a healthy lifestyle is possible. You are capable, but nobody is going to do this for you. I know you can do it. Write out your goals that don't involve a scale number, and plan. Do your own personal research. And remember to always check in on your "why" to make sure it's coming from a loving place. THIS is a version of self care and practicing being body positive...as long as you take care of yourself every step of the way, and love the entire process.
Thank you for reading and I'll see you next time, where we will dive in to more science-based information!
*all pictures used are my own